Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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