If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Are your prices by the hour

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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haha

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!