Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!