Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Jdkfk

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!