-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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-Get in the Van

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!