your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -89

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +166

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

thumb_up thumb_down +150

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +140

Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

thumb_up thumb_down +130

"Next!"

thumb_up thumb_down +124

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

thumb_up thumb_down +165

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

thumb_up thumb_down +79

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -153

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

thumb_up thumb_down +166

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

thumb_up thumb_down +105

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

thumb_up thumb_down +106

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!