*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Are your prices by the hour

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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all in all it was a good orgy

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Yo imma let you finish yourself off

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!