- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

Jdkfk

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book