-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

imgonna r@pe you

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

-Get in the Van

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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