hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

imgonna r@pe you

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

-Get in the Van

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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