- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

Jdkfk

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book