- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Jdkfk

Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book