- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book