Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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