Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

Still a better love story than Twilight

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

hey Herpes Go Away!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!