Do you live around here often?

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Do you want to see something swell?

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!