WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Do you live around here often?

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!