-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!