- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Do you live around here often?

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

-I wish i were DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes. -You're a loser

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

Nice legs what time do they open

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... gets up and leaves Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

is your name angel cuz that's all i see? is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book