Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!