Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!