- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Man: Wanna hear a joke about my Cck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my Pssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book