You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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