why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!