- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

"Next!"

"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book