WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

thumb_up thumb_down +118

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

thumb_up thumb_down +56

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +99

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

thumb_up thumb_down +97

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Do you want to see something swell?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

At a moral man bar... "the most awesome place on earth": Man: I thumb down my comments now, and somehow they end up thumbed the next day... Woman: Uh... what comments? Moral: Be specific... or at least dont brag to pick up chicks... now if you wanna be yourself and could not give shit about the rest, then go ahead! It will actually improve your chances!

thumb_up thumb_down +142

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

thumb_up thumb_down +127

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

thumb_up thumb_down +93

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

thumb_up thumb_down -163

*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

thumb_up thumb_down -189

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!