Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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You smell just like my mom...

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!