(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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