Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!