- Anti-Pickup Line

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

Real life number XX: Girl: I will only sleep with you if you bring along your hot friend over there. Me: Uh, like a threesome with a guy? Uh... Maybe let me think about it... At nighttime: Me: Hey Tobias, she said yes about screwing with me if you join in, but I swear I will kick your ass if you touch me! Tobias: Like if I touch you sexually? Me: Yeah! duh! Tobias: WHY?! Not even like a little? Moral: Not as much a anti-joke as the weirdest thing I ever experienced...

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go gives phone girl - silence after awkward phone call boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - silence boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy boy manages to get out of the bar boy installs bomb in center of bar boy leaves bar everyone attempts to get out of bar boy locks the door boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- explosion everyone dies MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

Words of wisdom: temptations from the darker side, but do you got what it takes? (Balls children, balls) Example "not" from real life: My three girlfriends leave after all five of us bang well me (my wife is with em too now wait) the three others leave, my wife asks me what I thought about the... Manysome? Im tired, (for a reason eh?) I asked her to tell me first, she looked me in the eyes and said, lets invite them over again tomorrow. I raised my arm saying "FUCK YEAH! A LITERALL FUCK YEAH! RISING MY ARM INTO THE AIR AS A PUMP FIST, BUT SHE HIGH FIVED ME INSTEAD... What is there not to love? Where does the love fail? Love is endless and grows the more you share, SO START FUCKING MORE! No really lets analyze this, if you are scared already now, you are a bible bashing geek, and not selected to join the gene pool for the next generation, you see, mother nature weeds out filth such as you... While I... Well I got everything I want... ...Now if you could say the same, maybe you can, but its not something you can learn, its something you got to be. Lets move on shall we? 1. Oh No Nero, this means you do not love your wife? I do not love my wife because she not only allows me but with the condition that she can join? And that we beforehand agree if we like said people? I do not love my wife because I can fuck whoever I want whenever I want without her feeling insecure because what she loves most about me is how safe she feels with me present? Advice: Learn to think less like the dope pope and more like Nero the ladies Hero. (and Dont go making rhymes like that unless you are awesome like me). 2. AHA! THIS MEANS YOUR WIFE DOES NOT LOVE YOU! Uh, she knew she was marrying a womanizer, because she fell in love with said womanizer and not in what she could "transform him into", not what she could shape a man she considers perfect for her, if not perfect as a God (fuck I agree) and said womanizer made her feel safe enough to try if she would enjoy one or several more, and as an experienced well, courtesan (my my that was classy) I know that women tend to like each other... you know under 100 percent of my introductions... Why? We men (not you geeks) where born to fight, genetically we preserved/married hundred of women which are genetically weaker of strength (if not today, its because lesbos are invading us but hey) But could that man bang his 300 chicks all the time? NO, so what did they do... Well they had themselves a party, the man created more babies, and those women left a bit out, where suddenly not so shy about seeking a bit more than the "simpler" forms of company, this trait grew genetically stronger during the years during evolution, and there we go. You dont have to listen to me you know, my advices are only for the hardcore, bad ass MEN with some sincere intentions, and awesome attitude... You might simply have the bible or some other "bright" biblical value up your ass. Or take it out, and accept that you might be seen as an asshole by men, while your women will always be there to fulfill your every (other?) need? I dunno maybe you like men on the side or something, but I prefer watching a sportsgame with a couple of chicks, and just mine rather than a couple of dicks, then I go play playstation 4 with my "waifu" (the one I am legally married with does not enjoy games, so her I go watch television and have deep meaningful conversations with) The thing is, I cant convince you, this is either something you are born to do, or born to try to do and never get the chance to ending up a sad old virgin... Or simply the non genuine guy, getting a woman drunk and trying to fuck her before what? She throws up all over you? Is that your bright light? You can be darker, I would know, as I am Nero/Black. The End? Advice: She loves me for who I am for what I do, advice Numero dos: If you cannot be Nero, try going for the second best

hey baby i just came in my pants

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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