And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Hi I am THE MORAL MAN! Moral: I am not famous enough yet it seems... except around my block where woman screams have been so loud people have called the cops... RAWRS... yeah I am bragging, but at least its the truth... (I cant wait for the day I am so famous that I walk into a bar and tell women that I am Moral man and run before they beat me to death)

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!