Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

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You smell just like my mom...

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!