"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Man: Hey there cutie... what is your name? Woman: Eve... Man: Wanna hang out or something? Woman: Hell no you ugly bastard! I mean at least put on a leaf or something! God: "Facepalm". Moral: The ultimate pickup failure, in this alternative reality, it was also the last and only one. (plays twilight zone theme in your ears)

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Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

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cockface

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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