- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an ahole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like st!"

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

Do you want to see something swell?

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

hey baby i just came in my pants

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Business Y U No Advertise?

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book