Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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You allergic to semen?

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!