- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book