- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

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If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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