Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

thumb_up thumb_down +78

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

thumb_up thumb_down -60

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +123

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

thumb_up thumb_down +119

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

thumb_up thumb_down -23

hey Herpes Go Away!

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +74

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

thumb_up thumb_down +46

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!