him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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adam burdass

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!