- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!