Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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adam burdass

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Man: I bet I can scream so loud I can break the walls this post is made of. Woman: Pfff bullshit.. Man: POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!! Woman: Wow, I wanna go home with you! Man: Sorry, I dont wanna go home with you Moral I dont bang women I "have something to prove to" if ever... heck just ask a woman what makes her cool enough to ask/demand you to prove yourself... and you may just hit the soft spot...

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!