M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

Hey baby! If I said you had a good body, would you hold it against me? - [ It's unknown who originally said this. Maybe it was some rowdy guy in a 1970s disco].

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

You wanna have sex and get married?? Ok... Sorry.

Sigh, reminds me I am banging a girl named Tina, and one named Line right? Plus my wife whose name I wont reveal because she matters (Line, Tina, you do not!) Anyway, when people ask me "what the hell was that noise Nero (No idea what Neronism is, fuck him for stealing my name) I tell them "meh I was just screwing Line and Tina" People always go like... Man... YOU DONT HAVE TO LIE TO ME SON! YOU GOT STREET CRED HERE MODAFOCA! Tina and Line? You cant come up with better names SON? EH? If you wanna lie to me again SON, Then you get some original names SON! And I go like... So, can your sister sit down now? And he goes all like SHEET, was that you? Nice score man! And then I went "thats your sister you know that right?" Anyway, you want me now? INSTA ANTI PICKUPLINE... BECAUSE WHO NEEDS PICKUPLINES AT ALL! I AM JUST BEING MEEEEEEEEEEE! AND YOU MIGHT HATE ME!!!!!!! BUT YOU WOMEN STILL END UP TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HATE THAT GUY YOU FUCKED LAST NIGHT! AND YOUR GIRLFRIENDS! Man... I need another Smoke... SMOKE WINS FAILTALITY. Ps: Yo Harris, stop congratzing me for banging your sister, she is not a nice catch for youz! She is your sistah DUDE! STOP GIVING ME THE THUMBS UPS EVERYTIME SHE COMPLAINS HER ASS IS STILL SORE... I mean does he get it? Or does youz congrats me because you dont understand that Rebecca your "innocent" sister is really into anal something I usually just reserve for the... actually good girls...

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

your boobs are bigger than my nose

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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