If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

hey Herpes Go Away!

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

adam burdass

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!