-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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adam burdass

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!