-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

adam burdass

You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!