Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

thumb_up thumb_down +79

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Stable relationships are for horses.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +74

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

thumb_up thumb_down +38

- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

thumb_up thumb_down -132

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

thumb_up thumb_down +112

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

thumb_up thumb_down +84

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -124

Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!