Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

thumb_up thumb_down -87

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

thumb_up thumb_down -129

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -122

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

thumb_up thumb_down +12

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

thumb_up thumb_down -4

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!