Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!