- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book