He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!