Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Hey, you want a ride?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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I hate you already.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!